what is it about me that ensures I fit in nowhere? It doesn't matter where I am, or who I'm with, I still feel like I do not belong. There have even been occurances to prove that I'm not safe even in my own home. My theory is that this may be why I choose to be alone. I am always alone, yet I am never lonely. The only thing I deeply long for is to be as alone physically as I am emotionally. In my mind, all feelings run free. I am unafraid of who I am, or what condition my heart is in. The only problem is that the depths of my mind do not form a real world. Only a world for the relief of my madness. only a world that welcomes the insane. only a world meant solely for me. As long as this is my only escape from the emotional demons of the real world, I will not ever be normal or happy. Even if I do, on occasion, experience happiness, it will not ever be real. Perhaps only the basis of something resembling an aspect of reality. either way, my escape from madness is simply put as driving myself further over the edge of sanity's remains. But when it happens, I do not know it. All I know is that it does happen. I can feel that it has happened, but not when it does happen. Maybe it's happening now...

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