I feel so confused, nothing makes sense. Dr. Talpur explains that I should be honest with people about my feelings. If somebody angers me, then I need to realize that anger is only a temporary mask for emotional pain, and I need to tell that person how I feel. I follow that, but people just don't understand. Whenever I'm not honest, I'm told that I'm not a true friend. Whenever I am honest, I'm told that I'm seeking pity. I don't seek pity, from anyone. I'd rather be hated than pitied. It's just so difficult. Do I show my true feelings, or keep them locked up inside like I always have? I'm tired of being ugly, and having people remind me that I am. Whenever I talk about how I feel bad for being ugly, I'm told that I'm seeking pity. I lost a friend last night. The reasoning for that was I have too bad of an attitude toward life. I corrected his error on that, because I love life with a passion. It's myself that I resent. It is I who is messed up, not anything else. Mother nature is beautiful, and life is a wonderous gift. I just didn't deserve it...

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